The Tortured Poets Department Album Ranking
The Tortured Poets Department: A Ranking of Taylor Swift’s Newest Album
Two years ago, a group of dedicated Taylor Swift fans sat down to rank each song on her album Midnights. Now, they are back to do the same for her latest release, The Tortured Poets Department. The album has been highly anticipated, with fans eagerly awaiting to see how Taylor will address the events of the past few years, including her breakup with Joe Alwyn.
The group of Swifties, consisting of Garri Chaverst, Senior Managing Editor, Madeline Galassi, Senior Fashion Editor, and Bella Gil, Associate Commerce Editor, have listened to the album nonstop since its release and are ready to share their rankings of each song.
Meet Our Swifties
GARRI CHAVERST
Senior Managing Editor
Favorite Album: reputation
Favorite Song: “Death by a Thousand Cuts”
MADELINE GALASSI
Senior Fashion Editor
Favorite Album: folklore
Favorite Song: “Cardigan”
BELLA GIL
Associate Commerce Editor
Favorite Album: Speak Now
Favorite Song: “Ivy”
Our Official The Tortured Poets Department Ranking
31. “thanK you aIMee”
Garri: 1/5
This is a sweet song but ultimately doesn’t leave a lasting impression on me. However, I really like the idea of growing past something that deeply hurt you and finding enough peace to feel grateful for the experience. I like it, but I do see myself skipping past this song on future listens.
Bella: 2/5
As a Speak Now fanatic, this song makes me miss songs like “Mean” where a song is strictly to the point and slightly more ambiguous. Taylor’s “tortured poet” persona fully comes out here with this song, and unfortunately, I was bored of it by this point in the album.
Maddie: 2/5
I’m sorry to Taylor, but this is a skip to me. I actually found myself wanting to skip past the last minute or so on my first listen. But I love that it might be a diss track to Kim Kardashian, so two points for that.
30. “Robin”
Garri: 2/5
I think the lyrics here are really going to take time to sink in, but on first listen, this song just doesn’t stand out. On a 31-song album, songs really need to hit to stop me, and this one left me zoning out.
Bella: 2/5
As we approached the end of the album, I found it difficult to focus on this track. I can sense we’re entering a somber goodbye, but this track is blending into other similar-sounding songs on the album. I can’t help but wonder if this song is a note to her younger self who had no idea what was in store for her future.
Maddie: 2/5
This song’s penultimate placement really does it a disservice, because, at the end of this marathon, it simply wasn’t enough to be noteworthy in any way.
29. “Clara Bow”
Garri: 2/5
Can I just say, I’m so glad the album didn’t end here? This song is another to add to the group of smooth-sounding bops that don’t stand out. I’ll always love it when Taylor self-inserts (shout-out to “The Last Great American Dynasty”), but this wasn’t what I wanted from this song.
Bella: 2/5
This song sounds super similar to many of the other songs on the album, which may be the reason why I’m not feeling it too much. I think it’s fun that she constantly highlights a person through a song on her albums, but sometimes, these tracks just fall flat.
Maddie: 2/5
To be honest, I never love Taylor’s songs in the biographical vein—save for “The Lucky One”—so I’m not surprised this was my least favorite on the album. I honestly think it might be my only skip. However, there is something so satisfying about hearing Taylor say her own